You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
