Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
