When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
