Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
My vagina just clenched in fear
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