is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
