i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
