If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
