CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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