Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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