you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
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