Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize