got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
