3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
