K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
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