Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
