If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
