i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
