my soul wont recognize me after tonight
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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