omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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