Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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