What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
