In the future we'll all be gay
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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