Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
