If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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