She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
