dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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