Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
