Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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