wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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