What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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