And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
