I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
