cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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