hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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