jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
