my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
