that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
