Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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