This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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