He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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