found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
