YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
