Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
