I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
