No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
