I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
