Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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