i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
