so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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