The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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