I got chris browned last night
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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