Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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