So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
