Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
