i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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